Puritan contemplative
In
a “contemplative biography” Schwanda helpfully examines extant
diary entries. He
quotes a stand out experience
May
20, 1641. (pm) The Lord in his mercy poured into my soul the
ravishing joy of his blessed Spirit. O how sweet was the Lord unto
me? I never felt such a lovely taste of heaven before: I believed
this was the joyful sound, the kisses of his mouth, the sweetnesses
of Christ, the joy of his Spirit, the new wine of his kingdom; it
continued with me about two days.
Schwanda
notes “a number of significant themes from this two day encounter”
- specific mention of experiencing each member of the Trinity; joy
(mentioned three times) as the dominant affection and sweetness
(mentioned twice). Ambrose traced the experience to the time in which
he “began to see spiritual things … upon which followed more
desire and endeavours after grace.”(1)
Another
example
May
17, 1648. At several times I ran through the duties of watchfulness,
self-examination, experiences, meditation, the life of faith;
and many a time I felt many sweet stirrings of Christ's Spirit; the
Lord Jesus appeared to my soul, gave me the kisses of his mouth,
especially in my prayers to, and praises of his Majesty. Surely thou
art my Lord, and I will praise thee; Thou art my God, and I will
exalt thee. Hallelujah! (2)
Two days later, he writes, summing up the
variety of experience he knew,
One felt
many strivings, and contrary workings in his spirit; sometimes in
prayer ravished, and sometimes heavy; sometimes full of comfort and
sometimes exceedingly dejected; sometimes patient and other whiles
impatient. O the fickleness and uncertainty of the heart in the
course of piety.
Spiritual warfare is a big theme in Puritan
writing and it comes out in Ambrose
May 25, 1646. The Lord opened a poor creature's
eye, to see in some measure the depths of Satan, and deceitfulness of
his own heart: he acted in things doubtful, against the reluctancy of
his own conscience before; no question this is sin, because it is not
faith.
He also reports how Satan tempted his troubled
soul, while sleeping, but
March 6,
1647. The Lord stood by him, put prayers into him though asleep,
whereby he overcame the temptation; then awaking, he deeply
apprehended Satan's approach and busy temptations: it struck him into
fears but praising God for his assistance, he received boldness, and
then slept again. (3)
There
was plenty of opposition from world and flesh too. On Monday, January
24, 1648, he “had a grieved and troubled heart, by
reason of some opposition of wicked people.” Elsewhere he says
many and many a time I have been
on the wing, yea,
sometimes the opposition has been so strong, that I have wished with
David, Oh that I had the wings of a dove, for then I would
flee and be at rest. (5)
The
Media
refers
to “our special sins, our Dalilah sins”. Schwanda suggests
Ambrose's was pride. “His primary conflict appears to have been his
desire to create a better public image than was justified”. In
support, two May 1646 entries.
13. One performed indeed a good action, but he
exceedingly over prized it; which he found afterwards.
15.
This day a poor soul, upon strict examination of his heart, found
that formerly he had judged many sinful actions lawful and good and
had excused many actions though in themselves sinful. He felt not
such a powerful operation of his corruptions before and so through
pride and ignorance thought better of himself than he had cause. (6)
Doubt was another temptation.
May
20, 1651. (am) I fell on reading the word, perused the directions and
then searched into the common places and uses of my corruptions in
nature and practice; of my comforts against the burthens of my daily
infirmities; of establishing my heart against the fear of falling
away; of directions in my calling; of comforts against outward
crosses; of my privileges in Christ above all the wicked in the
world: in every of these Christ appeared in some measure suitably to
my soul. (pm) I proceeded in the common places and uses of sweet
passages that melted my heart; of sensible comforts, and of places
hard to be understood: in the first my heart was sweetly melted, in
the second cheered; in the conclusion the Lord struck me with a
reverence of his majesty and presence, filled my soul with spiritual
refreshings, enlarged my heart with praises of him and desires to
live unto him who hath given me in this time of love so many visits
and kisses of his mouth. Hallelujah! (7)
The day before he had written
19. (am) I
exercised the life of faith, when the Lord strengthened me to act
faith on several promises, both temporal, spiritual, and eternal; I
had then sweet, refreshing, and encouraging impressions on my soul
against all the fearful, sinful, and doubtful dreams I had the night
or two before dreamed. (pm) I considered the duty of prayer, observed
some workings of God's Spirit in my perusing the rules, and
afterwards in the practice of this duty. Blessed be God! (8)
Anger was a sin he fell into. He records how
one Saturday evening (January 23, 1647) he “fell into exorbitancy
of passion”. He was so angry he had heart palpitations. We do not
know who he was angry with. His wife? Thankfully, the next day he is
able to report that his conscience was troubled “for his rash
anger” and that he “reconciled himself to his adversary, and
immediately God spake peace to his conscience.”
He also guarded his heart against covetousness.
On February 27, 1645, he had a pay rise and prayed “incline my
heart unto thy testimonies and not to covetousness.” On March 27,
1647, he confesses himself “a poor soul being mightily ensnared
with the world and finding by experience its vanity and vexation, he
resolved against it.” He also speaks of being “exceedingly
troubled by the cares of this life.” Later that same year, December
11, he writes positively
This day
one observed God's
goodness, in supplying fully all his temporal wants. This he
construed as earnest both of spiritual and eternal favours and
mercies in Christ. (9)
Footnotes
1. Schwanda 236, 237
2. Schwanda 114 Again the Media pattern
3. Schwanda 121
4. Schwanda 126
5. Fishwick 166
6. Schwanda 128
7. Schwanda 162
8. Ambrose,
Media
(1657)
89
9. Schwanda 128, 129
